The silent question in the mind of most singles isn't just how to get married, although, that is a great matter. The question usually is how can I stay married. We live in a world of multiple choices, to the extent that an entertainment firm even calls itself "MultiChoice". A society as such as we live in can at best produce people that change and change things and their commitments regularly. How then can one get married in this pluralized society and stay married?
Staying married for men however does not include marrying more wives, while the first remains. Staying married means keeping your first love as your last love. Remember the Scripture in the book of Malachi chapter 2. I know many people believe that Malachi represents tithe; but I know that Malachi equally reveal the heart of God concerning marriage. God was very emphatic against any man that does treacherously against the wife of his youth. Marriage usually take place in the youthful years; hence, forsake your youthful marital vows with your wife; in order to get another woman into your life is considered as treachery by God - with great consequences.
And the LORD caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said:
"This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man."
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and BE JOINED to his wife and they shall BECOME one flesh.
The Scripture above is self-revealing; however, there are many hidden secrets embedded in each verse written above. Marriage came into being because a portion of the life and essence of the man was taken to form a woman; who was created to complete the man. Imagine that, the man was "reduced" in the process of time through life experiences; but was "added" in marriage. Every man is incomplete without the wife of his youth assigned to him by God who created him. Every man becomes complete when he finally meets his completing self - his wife! However, when any man separates himself from the wife of his youth; he becomes irreparably divided for ever. Hence, God said, "...I hate divorce...".
Therefore, staying married is not one of your options in life; it is your sole option. You either stay married or live a dead life. For God sake, what is the essence of living a divided life? You see, when a man finally meet and get together with his completing self in time; the two then become one in time. When they become one, if any of them chooses to be separate from the union; such person and the other become divided entities, with divided vision, orientation, purpose and destiny. They become .5 people walking across the earth. I saw the advert of a movie sometime ago, they call the movie, "Walking Dead".... That is the exact description of divorced people across the nations. Sometimes, they think they can have a new life by marrying another person somewhere else; but in reality, they never successfully become one with anybody again.
Let us do a little exercise, imagine that you have a piece of building block in your hands; and incidentally, it gets divided. If you look very carefully, the division will usually follow a direction - slanting direction. Can you then bring just any other broken block to make that block one again? I believe you answer is no; in same vein, only the divided pieces of the block can come together again to form a union over time.
The process of becoming one either again or for the first time is our priority in this short article. The pieces of broken block can come together again and stay together, if the two agrees to be cemented together and watered and dried by the sun for a period of time. You see, effective oneness take time, sacrifice, tolerance, endurance and God. You two can only become one if and when you both agree to become one, and you both allow God to make you one. While that is done, you two must accept each other the way God has made you two overtime: for in your diversity lies the strength of your compatibility and complementarity.
God did not make you and your wife or husband the same. You do not have same or equal build-up or make-up. In fact, you are so different from her that she is a female, while you are a male - even the name suggests difference. However, your difference was not expected to be an irreconcilable difference; instead, it was meant to be a complementing and completing difference. She was made to be strong where you appear to be weak; in fact, God designed her so carefully that she can cover up your shame without the knowledge of your friends and family.
While spending a part of my day with a welder, I found out that pieces of strong metal could be joined together as easily as possible. However, the pieces must first be melted by the heater at the joining points. I then discover that staying together in marriage can only come when the couple have become one; and the couple will only become one when they have allowed themselves to be melted together through both tough and easy times. Tough times are not avoidable in marriage; but when sailed through together in the spirit of oneness, it melts the couples further together in oneness of heart, mind, body, spirit and purpose.
There will surely be times when you wonder in your heart about the future of the Union; but in such moments, you must stay close to the word of the Lord and remember the words He had given for the marriage, even before it started. True marriages face challenges, but they get over the challenges together. Enough of third parties in your marriage; and if you are still single, you must only allow God into the marriage - remember, a rope of three cords is not easily broken. How will it be if your marriage is a rope of three cord with God as the third cord? Such marriage will never be broken! When challenges come, don't forsake your husband or wife in search for greener pasture; seek the Lord's help together - and usually, when the Lord answers your prayer in oneness; He will send help through one of the couple. Why then do you think abandoning him or her at such a time as this is the solution. Stay together and enjoy the love, attention, help, Lordship of God together in the spirit of oneness.
I want to thank God for the opportunity to share this burning words with you. I must say that my wife - Omolara encouraged me to write this particular article. May the Lord continue to keep her in my love and in the love of the Lord in Jesus name. I love you Omolara Adedeji!