A mystery is a secret in disguise. A mystery is a secret that is clothed in puzzle, which must be unraveled to be understood and benefitted from. Leadership is not just about the leader, neither is it just about the people. True leadership is about the purpose, which is revealed to the leader in the form of a vision. The purpose is the reason for the emergence of the leader, and it is the reason for the composition of the team.
Typically, leaders receive or catches vision of a better future, a necessary product, and a needed service delivery among others. Such vision becomes a unifying force for both the leader and the team. In short, vision brings leaders together with their people. Hence, the people (team) come together to help or aid the leaders accomplishment of the discovered purpose.
In marriage, the husband is the leader, whom the Lord has prepared through various life experiences to lead the marriage and consequently, the family to their corporate destiny. Oftentimes, issues arise that make the husband want to become tired of leadership or frustrated about the team. The way forward is not in abandoning the family, neither is it in abandoning the marriage. The way forward is in the remembrance of the formation process of the marriage. The man had a vision from the Lord, the woman is given by the Lord to help him fulfill such vision. Hence, ultimately, everything the woman does is only meant to ease your leadership burden.
Usually, the team or the wife or family as the case maybe are only with you to help you; hence, the real task is yours to carry. I have come to realize that every task that emanates from the vision is primarily the responsibility of the leader; however, the team, or the wife only comes as helper(s). When I hear the stories of big companies or churches today, one thing stands out - at the beginning, the leader was the "all-in-all". The leader was the secretary or typist, he or she was the marketer, the leader was the accounting officer. However, as the task becomes bigger and demanding, he or she takes in people to ease the burden of the vision. Therefore, the ultimate burden of every vision is the leader's responsibility.
It then means that no matter what happens, you must be eager to accept responsibility for everything under your oversight. You must give out blame very miserly, but give praises eagerly. Really, it is you that will give account of your stewardship before your congregation as a pastor, before your Lord as a husband, and before your shareholders as a corporate leader. Your people are not there for themselves, even if it appears as such; they are there for you and the vision. Whatever they do, irrespective of the magnitude of their efforts or the maturity of their words and actions; they are only attempts to help you. Therefore, instead of judging them to a halt and hurt; help them to help you better!