An average undergraduate or graduate of higher institution would appreciate the necessity and simplicity of any course with 101 code. Those courses are so basic for any other courses that they are taught to the first year students of the institution. And it is usually expected to build a foundation in the minds of the students for higher learning.
More than 70% of all men and women will be married in their lifetime; hence, it is important that the subject of marriage is well addressed before each one comes into it and even while each one is in it. Marriage is so fundamental in every man's life that God commits Himself actively in every man's choice of life partner.
I understand that there are many avenues for acquiring knowledge of marriage; I also know that the best source of knowledge is God. Many marriages today are products of other marriages; when a man or woman thinks that he or she is coming close to his or her wedding date, he or she begins to come closer to other people who have been married for years. In such moments, he or she begins to pick up lessons about marriage and begins to ask relevant questions. This way of building marriage is good, but not fool-proof. Wrong sampling could immediately result into wrong productions!
For the sake of time and space, let us quickly discover marriage. However, we must know that marriage is not two people coming together; neither is it two old people coming together. In short, marriage is not just about age, and marriage is not just about two. What then is marriage? Marriage is the creation of God that bonds a male man and a female man (Woman) as one on earth for the execution of God's will and purpose on the earth.
The book of Genesis 2:18 explains the nature of the union of a man and a woman. "And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." And in the subsequent verses, Adam (the first man) said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man". If you observe those words very carefully, you would discover that marriage is about a man and a woman; and you would equally discover that marriage is for a purpose. Some people think that marriage is for fun, and so, when they can no longer have the expected fun, the marriage is not working. Marriage does not stand or fall because of the availability or lack of fun; true marriages stand by and for purpose.
Every marriage that makes any meaningful statement is the marriage that God brought about. If you read the verses very well, you would see the workings of God in every phase of the marriage. A marriage is a marriage indeed, when the man sees the wife as one taken out of him - this is very important! No marriage can stand if the man sees the wife as been separate from him, one who has only come to make life difficult or stressful for him. Best marriages are products of God, and they are products of men that see their wives as comparable helpers, and part of them.
The point is, if your wife or the woman you intend to marry does not fill up a vacuum in you, she might not be the right choice of God for you
. For women, you were created and built to fit some men; therefore, do not force yourself on men because, square pegs can only enter square holes. If you do not fit up while you too were courting, it will not be different even if he takes you to the altar. Many singles see the signs during courtship, but keep quiet because of "love". Only to begin their lives of complains and nagging in marriage: what you complain about now in marriage, was it not there before in courtship?
Marriage is for a purpose in the heart of God; however, fulfilling the purpose requires suitability of the woman to the man. I believe that every man is built with some deliberate needs or gaps, which every woman is designed accurately to meet or fill up. Some days ago, my Wife published some articles on Understanding in Marriage
, she noted emphatically that "there are no perfect couples, but couples that understood themselves perfectly.
" If we take it from there, we could say that God did not create "supermen", but He created women to make men appear super!
Your wife is built to cover up your own deficiencies; if you therefore despise her simplicity or willingness to help, your folly will be clear to all. Do you remember the story of Nabal and Abigail? That man was a fool, yet, he was married to a wise woman.
Will you call that a coincidence or a mistake? None of the two I believe! Nabal was rich, but was also foolish; you might then ask, "how did the fool gather up enough money or wealth?" Then, I will remind you that he had a wise wife! The question then is, "how was Nabal perceived by the people in the city?" I believe that he was seen as a wise rich man! However, when he began to make decision without the help of his wise wife, his folly became more pronounced to the point that his wife could no longer cover it up, but make it a public knowledge.
In marriage, faults, mistakes, weaknesses and blames are to be covered. And that is why the Scriptures say that love does not parade itself, nor seeks its own. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). When a woman brings her gifts, skills, passion, drive, submission, focus, dedication, faith, hope and care to the table of any man; such a man becomes bigger and larger. In short, women are the special gifts of God to men to cover their nakedness.
However, no woman can correctly fulfill her own purpose in marriage if she is not correctly suited for the man; and if she is not cleaved to the man. You see, some women are gifted, blessed and humble; however, their relevance and value is more tilted towards their earlier families. Every marriage is about total leaving for cleaving.
Whenever any couple refuses to leave completely to cleave completely, the marriage suffers from the shame of nakedness and purposelessness.
So much is there to be discussed, but the time and space is short; I trust God to help us know marriage more through His Word and the leadership of His Spirit. Till next time we connect again via writing - stay married, and if still single, keep your focus and will on God's leadership!